Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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