I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
