how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
