Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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