i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
