Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
