the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
