stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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