Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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