every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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