dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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