Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
