Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
nutella sex= disaster
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
