I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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