Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
