You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
