i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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