dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
