so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
She has the best kind of daddy issues
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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