He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
