I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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