You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I need moral support for this bender
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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