She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
