did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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