Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
