You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
