Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
