Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
