Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
