Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
