I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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