Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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