I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
