I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
