Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Damn victory sex feels great
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
