Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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