Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
