Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
