Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
