Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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