why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
