next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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