You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
