Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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