come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
