Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
