my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Is that strawberry winking at me??
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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