dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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