I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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