So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Porn is love you can see.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
