Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
