GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
