well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
